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Swinger Safety 101

April 12, 2014

Being a swinger can be a very exciting experience. When you and your partner are in sync, you get to enjoy the experience on a very deep level, bringing you closer together in a way that many couples will never get to realize. Many couples and singles talk about it, but only a fraction ever suck it up and give it a whirl. Of course, many people aren’t equip to handle the lifestyle. Jealousy and anger can often rear its ugly head.

There’s another side to swinging that you simply can’t take for granted — safety. While most of the time, you only need to worry about the many flakes out there, it is necessary that you take certain precautions to enjoy the safety of everyone involved. Here are some quick tips and if you have your own, feel free to add them to the comments:

Voice verify — There are many single males out there who will make up silly stories about their girlfriend or wife being out of town or whatever. Chances are, the guy either doesn’t have a significant other or is going behind her back. To avoid this, make sure the women voice verify with each other. Personally, I don’t like talking on the phone to anyone, so I always make it short and sweet.

Insist on getting a phone number — This probably won’t be a problem since most people have cell phones now. Whatever you do, don’t invite a single guy or couple over to your place without getting the phone number, even if you decide not to voice verify for some reason. The last thing you want is to invite someone over who hasn’t provided you with any personal information except for an anonymous e-mail address.

Meet in public somewhere — Many couples, us included, prefer to invite a couple over for fun without meeting up first, which is why we’ll often chat with someone for a while before inviting them over (although we have, admittedly, taken a risk that they were serial killers in the past). If you’re weary about this, though, meeting in a public place is a good idea. Not only is this safer, you can also make sure that everyone is attracted to each other and wants to continue.

Don’t drink too much — If something does go awry, you don’t want to be sloshed. When my husband and I play, I have a tendency to drink a little more than I should. But Jeff has very little to drink when we’re with a couple for this exact reason.

Find out rules beforehand — Each couple has their own rules. Some are really wild and kinky, to the point where it may be too much for some couples to handle. Discuss any rules of what is and is not permitted before getting together. If not, the other guy — through no fault of his own — might go for ass, spank, slap, etc. and cause a very awkward situation.

Prepare for the worst-case scenario — The chances of someone in this lifestyle being violent is slim to none. However, it’s always a good idea to keep the worst-case scenario in your head. My husband is extremely cautious most of the time, so he always preps in two different ways. First, he gives each couple’s information (clean picture, phone number, e-mail address, etc.) to one of his good friends who knows about everything that he does. Second, he leaves a canister of pepper spray in our bedroom. While this may seem like an extreme precaution, one that we don’t ever expect to use, it’s better to be safe than sorry. After all, unless these people are your friends, you don’t really know them.

Never be afraid to say no — If you don’t get a good feeling about a couple, even after they’ve arrived at your home, don’t be afraid to tell them straight. You’re under no obligation to have sex with them if things feel awkward or uncomfortable.

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